Quirk Books Digital

  • One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that he had been changed into an adorable kitten.
    Thus begins The Meowmorphosis--a bold, startling, and fuzzy-wuzzy new edition of Kafkas classic nightmare tale, from the publishers of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies! Meet Gregor Samsa, a humble young man who works as a fabric salesman to support his parents and sister. His life goes strangely awry when he wakes up late for work and discovers that, inexplicably, he is now a man-sized baby kitten. His family freaks out: Yes, their son is OMG so cute, but what good is cute when there are bills to pay? And how can Gregor be so selfish as to devote all his attention to a scrap of ribbon? As his new feline identity threatens to eat away at his personality, Gregor desperately tries to survive this bizarre, bewhiskered ordeal by accomplishing the one thing he never could as a man: He must flee his parents house.

  • Long before Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Quirk published this guide to life in Regency England to the delight of Austen fans everywhere. Newly published with a revised cover, The Jane Austen Handbook offers step-by-step instructions for proper comportment in the early 19th century. Readers will discover:
    • How to Indicate Interest in a Gentleman Without Seeming Forward • How to Ensure a Good Yearly Income • How to Ride Sidesaddle • How to Behave at a Dinner Party Full of practical directions for navigating the travails of Regency life, this charming illustrated book also serves as a companion for present-day readers, explaining the English class system, currency, dress, and the nuances of graceful living.
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  • On the heels of the successful Stuff Every Man Should Know and Stuff Every Woman Should Know comes the volume that both genders will treasure: Stuff Every Husband Should Know. Finally, the priceless, practical wisdom that all wives hope their husbands possess is gathered in one book! New husbands and their long-suffering brethren alike will find helpful knowledge of all kinds:
    The Ten Commandments of Laundry How to Hire Handymen Side with Your Wife, Not Your Mother How to Drive in Peace Wife Space Comes Before Man Cave And much, much more!
    This stylish pocket-sized hardcover is the perfect gift for weddings, anniversaries, Fathers Day, or any time of the year.

  • Is there any polite way to “shush” a chatty person at the movies? Should roller bladers be passed on the left side or the right side? When is it unacceptable to answer your cell phone? And why doesn’t anyone in your grocery store seem to understand the basic rules of shopping cart navigation and right-of-way? If you’ve ever pondered these kinds of questions, How to Behave is the book you’ve been waiting for: a hip, irreverent, but entirely practical guide to proper behavior in the twenty-first century. Here are dozens of fascinating skills that Emily Post wouldn’t even think to mention—like the best ways to: • share elbow space on an airplane armrest • contend with road rage • navigate an escalator • observe basic e-mail etiquette • speak on a cell phone without enraging others . . . plus dozens of other essential survival techniques. Much more than a simple etiquette book, How to Behave is a real-life guide to living in the real world.From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • 100 Dogs Who Made a Difference If you dont believe that one dog has the power to alter civilization, then youve obviously never heard of Peritas (p. 166), the dog who saved Alexander the Great from being trampled by an elephant. Or Biche (p. 57), the Italian Greyhound who started a war between France and Russia. Or Urian (p. 74), the dog who bit Pope Clement VII and finalized Englands break with the Catholic church. Or Peps and Fips (p. 96), the dogs who helped Richard Wagner compose his operas.
    These are just five of the 100 Dogs Who Changed Civilization, and this book honors their extraordinary contributions to science, history, art, government, religion, and more. Youll meet a dog who ran for president of France (p. 79) and a dog who saved a movie studio (p. 115). Youll meet dogs who have inspired great works of literature (p. 92) and who were awarded medals for their wartime service (p. 158). Youll even meet a dog who became a real-estate mogul (p. 141). These beautifully illustrated true stories are a tribute to the intelligence, bravery, and loving nature of dogs all over the world.
    From the Hardcover edition.

  • 100 Cats Who Made a Difference If you dont believe that one cat has the power to alter civilization, then youve obviously never heard of Tibbles (p. 12), the cat who single-handedly wiped out an entire species. Or Ahmedabad (p. 61), a Siamese kitten who sparked riots throughout Pakistan. Or Snowball (p. 14), the cat who helped to convict dozens of murderers and criminals. Or Felix (p. 155), the first cat to explore outer space.
    These are just four of the 100 Cats Who Changed Civilization, and this book honors their extra-ordinary contributions to science, history, art, government, religion, and more. Youll meet a cat who filed a lawsuit (p. 66) and a cat who was slapped with a restraining order (p. 75). Youll meet cats who have inspired great works of literature (p. 90) and classical music (p. 102). Youll even meet a cat who telephoned the police to save the life of his owner (p. 162). These beautifully illustrated true stories are a tribute to the intelligence, bravery, and loving nature of cats all over the world.
    From the Hardcover edition.

  • Get Some Action!
    For every woman who wants to be as tough as Lara Croft, as nimble as the Bionic Woman, and as babe-a-licious as Charlies Angels, The Action Heroines Handbook shows you the essential skills youll need to conquer the bad guys and save the day without breaking a sweat.
    Find out how the real action heroines do it, directly from a host of experts, including stuntwomen, jujitsu instructors, helicopter pilots, detectives, forensic psychologists, survivalists, primatologists, and many others.
    Learn to:
    Profile a serial killer Outwit a band of home intruders Navigate white water rapids Go undercover as a beauty queen Outrun a fireball And dozens of other Tough Chick Skills, Beauty Skills, Brain Skills, Brawn Skills, and Escape Skills. Special sections and appendices feature the top action heroine hairdos, handbag essentials, and the best footwear for every action situation. With step-by-step instructions and easy-to-follow illustrations, The Action Heroines Handbook will prepare you to save the world, one baddie at a time.
    From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.
    So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton--and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but shes soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers--and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something youd actually want to read.

  • From the publisher of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies comes a new tale of romance, heartbreak, and tentacled mayhem.
    Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters expands the original text of the beloved Jane Austen novel with all-new scenes of giant lobsters, rampaging octopi, two-headed sea serpents, and other biological monstrosities. As our story opens, the Dashwood sisters are evicted from their childhood home and sent to live on a mysterious island full of savage creatures and dark secrets. While sensible Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, her romantic sister Marianne is courted by both the handsome Willoughby and the hideous man-monster Colonel Brandon. Can the Dashwood sisters triumph over meddlesome matriarchs and unscrupulous rogues to find true love? Or will they fall prey to the tentacles that are forever snapping at their heels? This masterful portrait of Regency England blends Jane Austens biting social commentary with ultraviolent depictions of sea monsters biting. Its survival of the fittest--and only the swiftest swimmers will find true love!
    From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • The Only Joke Book You’ll Ever Need   Featuring:      •  Nine Jokes about Heaven and Hell      •  Eight Jokes Just for Kids      •  Nineteen Jokes Definitely Not for Kids      •  Six Jokes about Lightbulbs      •  Seven Jokes about Bars      •  The World’s Only Funny KnockKnock Joke   Plus alternate versions, roasts and toasts, historical footnotes, tips on telling jokes, and much, much more.  From the Hardcover edition.

  • This pocketsized companion features everything a man should know (but probably doesn’t)   Including:        •  How to Cast a Fishing Rod      •  How to Make the Perfect Martini      •  How to Negotiate a Raise      •  Five PickUp Lines in Five Different Languages      •  How to bet on Horses      •  How to Give a Great Massage   Plus wardrobe tips, advice on car maintenance, jokes for every occasion, fitness exercises, grilling instructions, and much, much, more!From the Hardcover edition.

  • Improve Your Relationships with Bosses, Friends, Family, Lovers, Coworkers, and Many Others!
    Learn how to:
    Give a sales pitch to an Aries.
    Live peacefully with a Taurus.
    Impress a Gemini.
    Discuss money issues with a Cancer.
    Stay in touch with a Leo.
    Break bad news to a Virgo.
    Survive the holidays with a Libra.
    Improve your sex life with a Scorpio.
    Ask a Sagittarius for help.
    Entertain a Capricorn.
    Break up with an Aquarius.
    Express affection to a Pisces.
    And much, much more!
    From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • "This reader's companion to the casework of Sherlock Holmes explores the methodology of the world's most famous consulting detective. From analyzing fingerprints and decoding ciphers to creating disguises and faking one's own death, readers will learn how Holmes solved his most celebrated cases - plus an arsenal of modern techniques available to today's armchair sleuths. Along the way, readers will discover a host of trivia about the master detective and his universe."--P. [4] of cover.

  • Anglais Wine Secrets

    Marnie Old

    Inside Tips from Top Wine Experts Michael Mondavi, Jacques Pépin, Gina Gallo, and Kevin Zraly are just four of the contributors to Wine Secrets--a compilation of tips and tricks from todays top wine experts, with advice on everything from buying and tasting to cooking and pairing. Readers will discover:
    How to find the best wines by sticking to the classics How to judge whether a wine is good How to act like you know what youre doing when ordering wine How to guesstimate wine style from packaging clues How to taste wine like a pro And much, much more!
    From the Hardcover edition.

  • Readers will witness the birth of a heroine in Dawn of the Dreadfuls--a thrilling prequel set four years before the horrific events of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. As our story opens, the Bennet sisters are enjoying a peaceful life in the English countryside. They idle away the days reading, gardening, and daydreaming about future husbands--until a funeral at the local parish goes strangely and horribly awry.
    Suddenly corpses are springing from the soft earth--and only one family can stop them. As the bodies pile up, we watch Elizabeth Bennet evolve from a naive young teenager into a savage slayer of the undead. Along the way, two men vie for her affections: Master Hawksworth is the powerful warrior who trains her to kill, while thoughtful Dr. Keckilpenny seeks to conquer the walking dead using science instead of strength. Will either man win the prize of Elizabeths heart? Or will their hearts be feasted upon by hordes of marauding zombies? Complete with romance, action, comedy, and an army of shambling corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls will have Jane Austen rolling in her grave--and just might inspire her to crawl out of it!
    From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • It’s been called the greatest novel ever written. Now, Tolstoy’s timeless saga of love and betrayal is transported to an awesomer version of 19thcentury Russia. It is a world humming with highpowered groznium engines: where debutantes dance the 3D waltz in midair, mechanical wolves charge into battle alongside brave young soldiers, and robots—miraculous, beloved robots!—are the faithful companions of everyone who’s anyone. Restless to forge her own destiny in this fantastic modern life, the bold noblewoman Anna and her enigmatic Android Karenina abandon a loveless marriage to seize passion with the daring, handsome Count Vronsky. But when their scandalous affair gets mixed up with dangerous futuristic villainy, the ensuing chaos threatens to rip apart their lives, their families, and—just maybe—all of planet Earth.From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • This pocketsized companion features everything a woman should know including:        •  How to Ask for a Raise      •  Ten Stylish Pieces Every Woman Should Own      •  How to Throw a Football      •  Good Responses to Bad PickUp Lines      •  How to Host a Cocktail Party      •  How to Parallel Park   Plus advice on etiquette and social situations, entertaining and cooking tips, doityourself instructions, health information, selfdefense techniques, and much, much more!From the Hardcover edition.

  • After a family tragedy, Jacob feels compelled to explore an abandoned orphanage on an island off the coast of Wales, discovering disturbing facts about the children who were kept there.

  • Journey to the final frontier of sci-fi zombie horror!
    Jim Pike was the worlds biggest Star Trek fan--until two tours of duty in Afghanistan destroyed his faith in the human race. Now he sleepwalks through life as the assistant manager of a small hotel in downtown Houston.
    But when hundreds of Trekkies arrive in his lobby for a science-fiction convention, Jim finds himself surrounded by costumed Klingons, Vulcans, and Ferengi--plus a strange virus that transforms its carriers into savage, flesh-eating zombies!
    As bloody corpses stumble to life and the planet teeters on the brink of total apocalypse, Jim must deliver a ragtag crew of fanboys and fangirls to safety. Dressed in homemade uniforms and armed with prop phasers, their prime directive is to survive. But how long can they last in the ultimate no-win scenario?

  • Anglais Broetry

    Brian McGackin

    As contemporary poets sing the glories of birds, birch trees, and menstruation, regular guys are left scratching their heads. Who can speak for Everyman? Who will articulate his love for Xbox 360, for Mama Celestes frozen pizza, for the cinematic oeuvre of Bruce Willis?
    Enter Broetry--a stunning debut from a dazzling new literary voice. Broet Laureate Brian McGackin goes where no poet has gone before--to Star Wars conventions, to frat parties, to video game tournaments, and beyond. With poems like Ode to That Girl I Dated for, Like, Two Months Sophomore Year and My Friends Who Dont Have Student Loans, we follow the Bro from his high school graduation and college experience through a quarter-life crisis and beyond.
    From the Hardcover edition.

  • WIT AND WISDOM FROM A TO Z With more than 3,000 quotations on everything from fashion and feminism to men, marriage, friendship, history, technology, sports, and more, this massive compilation proves once and for all that women know everything! Each page offers wisdom, wit, and inspiration from a host of legendary women--from Jane Austen and Colette to Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Toni Morrison, Liz Phair, Ellen DeGeneres, and Naomi Klein. Heres what they have to say about:
    Success I still have my feet on the ground. I just wear better shoes.
    --Oprah Winfrey Men and Women Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backward and in high heels.
    --Faith Whittlesey Being Single Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me.
    --Elayne Boosler Individuality Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
    --Judy Garland Family If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Dont be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning Good morning at total strangers.
    --Maya Angelou Quotations I always have a quotation for everything--it saves original thinking.
    --Dorothy L. Sayers With contributions from writers, artists, celebrities, politicians, scientists, and legendary figures all over the world, Women Know Everything! offers addictive reading--and a superb reference--for women of all ages.
    From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • Gentleman, start your ovens!
    Were mixing bacon with brownies! Were pouring beer into chili! Were stirring up tomato gravy so thick and tasty, we refuse to call it sauce! This easy pocket-sized companion shows you how to make all the food a man cant live without, including:
    Hearty Breakfast Classics Sandwiches, Burgers, and Snacks Meat and Potato Dinners Beer, Bacon, and Bar Food Chocolate, Cheesecake, and More Plus a quick, no-frills guide to culinary rules and tools. We break it all down so you can cook like a master!
    From the Hardcover edition.

  • A PageADay Countdown To The Birth Of Your Baby!   The average pregnancy lasts 280 days—and the suspense can be excruciating! The Pregnancy Countdown Book counts down the biggest milestones every step of the way, with one page of helpful information for each day of your pregnancy. Here are tips from doctors and mothers, amusing anecdotes and quotes, and all of the uncensored details that other books won’t tell you.   The perfect gift for expecting moms of all ages, The Pregnancy Countdown Book is a delightfully irreverent look at the craziest nine months of your life.From the Trade Paperback edition.

  • The Book Your Children Dont Want You to Read This revised and updated edition of How to Con Your Kid is the most useful (and sneakiest) parenting manual youll ever purchase. Here are hundreds of tips, techniques, and simple scams for getting your child to do exactly what you want--at mealtime, bedtime, bathtime, and beyond. Youll learn how to:
    Con your kid into eating by playing on his possessiveness.
    Con your kid into bathing by swimming in the tub.
    Con your kid into talking quietly by whispering back.
    Con your kid into returning your iDevice--by any means possible!
    And dozens more tricks of the parenting trade!

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