Bill Brownstein

  • Down The Tube

    ,

    A couch potato's downward spiral. Imagine yourself at home on your couch, contractually obligated to remain in front of your satellite-rigged television for a period of seven days, at the end of which you will produce a funny but penetrating account of your journey - a virtual one - through the strange and culturally revealing landscape of the 200-channel universe. Bill Brownstein did just that and Down the Tube is his hilarious survival guide, complete with the expert testimony of a psychologist who kept tabs on the couch potato's mental state. The author of the riotous Sex Carnival charts his week on the couch in this latest odyssey with a cynical eye and relentless wit. Brownstein meditates on such important questions as: Should Pamela Anderson sue the doctor who botched her breast reduction? Are those people on Springer for real? Hey, do they still play reruns of The Waltons? Nobody is immune to Brownstein's wry wit, not even big-name celebrities like Oprah, Regis, and Jerry Seinfeld.

  • In the middle of the afternoon on a busy downtown Toronto street a man is shot in the head behind the wheel of his SUV. The killer drives away before the light changes. It could be road rage, or it could be a random act of violence.

    It could be, but it isn't. What it is, is opportunity. For everyone involved.

    The witness, Roxanne Keyes, a real estate agent trying desperately to lease out space in unwanted office space, recognizes the killer - a man who had once looked to rent with her. She figures with this kind of leverage he'll be a lot more interested now. Except he's Boris Suliemanov, a Russian mobster in the strip club business, who's now busy taking out competitors and expanding into drugs and grand theft auto. Then there's Vince Fournier, a cool guy with a mysterious past who might be able to help Roxanne deal with Boris if he gets what he wants. He rents space in her building for his internet porn company, but he's looking for a little more from her. And finally, the homicide squad cops can see their own opportunities in the brazen, daytime murder. In the tradition of Elmore Leonard and Christopher Brookmyre, Dirty Sweet is a fast-paced crime story following each character to a surprising end.

empty